


not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you

by academmia



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Girls Kissing, Humor, Pride Parade, girls at pride, i love this, lesbian day y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/academmia/pseuds/academmia
Summary: Remus has been crushing on Patton for years, and she finally asked Patton out. For their first date, she takes Patton to pride for the first time. She keeps trying to kiss her but the universe won’t let her no matter how hard she tries. But no matter what anyone says, Remus is going to kiss the girl before the sunsets.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you

**Author's Note:**

> this is a day late but happy lesbian day

“Where are we going, Remus?” Patton said. 

Remus pulled them down the winding streets of the city, Patton’s callused fingers study in hers. The summer breeze blew through Remus’ hair and the city seemed brighter in a way that only Pride could cause,” 

“It’s a surprise pops,” 

Patton sighed, “Just because I told you Redbull isn’t water doesn’t mean I’m the dad friend!” 

“Sure sweetheart,” Remus said and Patton’s face went bright red. 

Remus resisted the urge to keep the compliments coming until Patton was weak at the knees, but she resisted the urge. It had taken weeks of subtle hints and hangouts for Patton to finally get the hint that Remus had a big lesbian crush on her. Sure, the hint that made Patton realize was when Remus walked up to her and asked her out, but that didn’t matter. This first date has to be perfect. 

Patton looked amazing, her short brown hair was pushed back to reveal her bright black eyes and she was wearing\ an oversized short-sleeved button-up dad shirt and a black Nike sports bra and jeans short. She was wearing the chains Remus made for her on her birthday around her neck and painted doc martins. She looked fucking stunning.

“Re you’re staring,” Patton whispered scandalously, cheeks getting even redder. 

“But Patty,” Remus whines, “You’re so pretty, telling me not to look is homophobic.” 

Patton laughs, loud beautiful wild laughter from her chest, and Remus melts. She can’t believe that she annoyed Patton enough to get her to say yes. I mean yeah, Remus is hot as fuck, so she understands why Patton would say yes but Patton is just...she’s amazing. Remus never thought someone like Patton would like someone like her. 

But Patton isn’t as innocent and pure as she seems. Patton is funny, really funny, and some of her dirty jokes keep Remus awake at night. Remus, who’s rice score is scary low. Patton is fierce and loyal, she’s been through shit Remus hates to even think about. Patton doesn’t treat kindness like it’s a weakness, Patton treats it like a weapon. Patton is one of the rare people who understand the impact of it. Patton isn’t kind to anyone, she knows that isn’t helpful and that makes her a dormant. No, Patton is kind to the people who get thrown to the streets. The people called social rejects and freaks. She’s smart, really smart, and not in the ways you’d expect. 

They crossed another street and Remus could hear the drums. The banging and the stomping all in perfect rhythm. Patton looks wary, but Remus just knows she’ll love it. 

“C’mon,” Remus says, and Patton looks unsure, but she squeezes Remus’ hands and followers around the corner. 

Patton’s eyes widen as she realizes where she is. 

“Wow,” She whispers, rendered speechless by the parade in front of them. 

Pride Parades have always been Remus’ home. Sneaking out as a teenager to talk to the streets and sing, meeting friends, and dancing with the drag queens who taught her how to get angry. Watching the pride flags blow in the windows, a rainbow in every corner. The roller skaters and the musicians and the teens just like her. Your first time going is something indescribable.

“How did you know,” Patton whispers, and Remus knows that she’s done so so good. 

“You mentioned it? Remember in class you said you’ve always wanted to go?” 

“Remus,” Patton says, “That was 4 months ago.” 

Remus rolls her eyes, “So? I remember everything about you,” 

And oh, Remus is having so much fun making Patton flustered. It’s so easy, all she has to do is let the truths she’s kept in her head for months spill out of her mouth, each one making Patton redder and redder. Patton bites her lip and Remus thinks this might be it, the kiss she’s been waiting for, just a little bit closer and Patton’s lips will be. 

“Hi!” Someone cuts in, and Patton Patton pulls away, glancing to look at the little girl with rainbow ribbons in her hair. 

“Hi!” Patton waves.

“Would you like a sticker?” She asks, pulling a roll of sticks with rainbows on them out of a tiny backpack. 

Yeah, Remus is pissed off she didn’t get her chance, but this kid is adorable, so she’ll have to let it slide, “Sure kiddo, I would love a sticker,” 

The girl peels one off her sheet, with an adorable face of determination, “Here you go! I love your skirt!” 

“Really?” Remus says, she leans in close to the little girl and whispers, “Wanna see it a spin,” 

Her eyes widen in excitement and she nods. Remus tightens her belt and twirls, spinning the fabric back and forth. It’s a good skirt. Patton seems almost as interested as the kid in front of her. 

“I wanna be just like you when I’m grown up,” The girl says. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah!” 

Remus watches as the little girl runs through the crowd to two older men she assumes must be her fathers. 

“Well that was adorable,” Patton says. Remus forgot she was there for a hot sec. 

“It was, wasn’t it?

Patton giggles, “Are you about to cry?” 

“Shut up!” 

\--------------------

They walking towards the center of the parade when Remus thinks this is it. She missed her chance once, she won’t make the same mistake again. 

Patton has one arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders and the contact is warm, solid. Remus is glad she didn’t wear the spikey jacket, especially considering the heat. She could just lean over, spin herself around, and kiss her like she’s been daydreaming about for months. 

Patton’s fully relaxed now, and it’s amazing to see. She smiles at people as they walk by and compliments people on their outfits but Remus can’t focus on anything other than Patton touching her. It’s like electricity but instead of pain, it brings electrifying pleasure. 

Men are great, Remus loves men, she does. but girls, well. Girls are  _ everything.  _

“Hey, Patton?” Remus asks. 

“Yeah Re,” Patton says, fingers tracing pattern’s on Remus’ shoulder that makes her melt. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure,” Patton says, and just as Remus is about to ask she pulls away and Remus has to hold back a whine. 

“Oh my gosh Re, are those pride flags?” Patton says, excitedly pointing at a vendor. 

“Yep,” Remus said, hiding her disappointment, “Wanna get some?” 

Patton hesitates, “We don’t have to,”

Her shoulders are raised back up and she squeezes Remus’ hand tighter. Remus knows Patton hasn’t grown up the best. She sees the shock in her face every time Remus makes a joke like she doesn’t know that’s allowed. 

The pride flags they sell here are ridiculously overpriced and shitty quality but this is Patton’s first time at pride. Patton deserves so much, and if she wants a pride flag, Remus will buy her them all. Patton deserves to feel confident in this community just like everyone else. 

“Hey, darling look at me,” Remus says, waiting until Patton meets her eyes, “I would be honored to get you your first pride flag,” 

Patton’s face melts, and the look in her eyes makes Remus fall in love all over again. There’s so much longing and shock and if Remus looks closer she can she the quiet determination that never dies. 

“Thank you,” Patton says. 

They walk over to the vendor and wait in line behind to people with matching purple hair. The table is littered in flags, from more recognizable ones to more obscure ones. The flags hang from the sides and pins and patches cover the table in a big mix of colorful gay capitalism. 

The two purple heads finish their purchase, bi flags and an enby flag, and Patton and Remus are at the front of the line. 

“What can I get for you two ladies?” The man running the booth says. 

Remus looks towards Patton, who seems too overwhelmed by the colors to say anything so she says, “Two lesbian flags please,” 

The man nods, “That’ll be 22 dollars,” 

Remus forks over the cash, grabbing Patton’s hand with one hand and the two flags with the other, walking over to a nearby curb. 

Patton sits down next to her and Remus leans into her as she tears the thin plastic open, spreading the pride flags out. Patton watches her, and after a few seconds opens her own. 

Remus ties her cape around her neck, the warm colors clashing with her dark outfit, but she doesn’t care. The flag falls to her knees, right above her boots. 

“Did you just turn that into a cape,” Patton asks, definitely checking her out. 

“Yes I did, I look so fucking hot right now,” Remus saying doing a little twirl and Patton laughs. 

“Put the cape on Patton,” 

“Ok! OK I’m doing it jeez!” 

Remus does her best to give an intimidating glare, “You better,” 

Patton ties her flag around her shoulders, taking a second to marvel at the feeling of wearing one, “This is…” 

Suddenly tears start to well up in her eyes and Remus cringes, she messed up something, like she always does, “I’m sorry,” 

Patton rubs at her eyes, “No you’re perfect I just...never thought I’d get here.”

\---------------------

After being cockblocked by the universe not once but two times Remus really thought the third time would be the charm. No such luck. 

Neither is the fourth time, or the fifth time, or the sixth time and by now and the irony of being stopped from kissing a girl at pride is hilarious, really fucking funny fate. 

There’s always something that stops her, Patton spots a sign, someone comes up to talk to them, someone starts playing music, a fucking pigeon flies in Remus’ face. And the funniest part is Patton is completely obvious to Remus’ fury. Remus has been waiting for months to find out what Patton tastes like, and now is so close yet so far. If she doesn’t get to kiss her by the end of the night she’s calling it homophobia. 

And then finally, finally, Remus gets them some Privacy by an alleyway. Music blares are the drag queens start their show and Patton is getting bolder. She twirls Remus’ cape and there’s a challenge in her eyes. It’s perfect, the wait has been worth it, Patton leans in so close Remus’ can’t even breathe and it’s finally happening. 

But just before she can close her eyes and close the distance from the other side of the street some asshole yells, “This is unnatural!” 

Patton pulls back and Remus closes her eyes to try and reign in the rage. The way these people are obsessed with them is starting to get a little gay. They can’t let Remus have any fun. 

These shitheads are always here, and Remus has learned to tune them out. Flip them off, laugh at their jokes, and move on with her day. That’s how you take them down. Remus doesn’t give a fuck what they think of her, and she’s proud of that. But Patton isn’t Remus. Patton isn’t Remus, she isn’t used to this. The look in Patton’s eyes is filled with fear and anger and worst of all  _ shame _ . Remus wants to kill them forever daring to make Patton feel ashamed of who she is. How dare they. They won’t win, Remus refuses this to be the moment of Pride Patton remembers. Today is the day Patton gets to be herself after years of being told that she’s too young or too pretty to know. Too much or too wrong, that’s what Patton’s been told her entire life. 

This day belongs to them, not these assholes. 

Patton looks unsure and all the positive emotions from her face are gone, “Why does this always happen,” 

“Because people are shit sometimes,” Remus says, and silently cheers when Patton’s lips quirk in a smile at her bluntness. 

And then suddenly Remus has an idea. A brilliant, stupid, gay idea that will piss these assholes off and finally get her kiss. 

“Do you trust me?” She asks Patton, holding a hand out. 

Patton laces her fingers through Remus’, “always,” 

\--------------

Remus pulls Patton through the crowd of people, moving them closer and closer to the stage where the party has already started, rainbow lights flashing, and drag queens dancing. She moves them past the stage until they’re behind it, and Patton quirks and eyebrow. 

“Just trust me for a few more minutes,” She says, “This is gonna be perfect,” 

Remus makes eye contact with Silver, the stage manager, and she gives him a  _ what the fuck look _ . Remus gestures her over and she hesitates for a few seconds before coming over. 

“This better be good Remus,” She grumbles, “You do know we’re in the middle of a show right?” 

“Yeah Silv I have eyes,” Remus says, rolling her eyes, “Do you think you could get us on stage?” 

Silver’s eyes move to Patton for the first time and Patton squirms under the attention, “and why would I do that,” 

“For the honor of being gay do crime,” She says, “Plus you owe me,” 

“You are never going to let freshman year go are you?” 

“Nope!” 

She sighs, “Fine, you’re on in five minutes,” 

She walks away, black hair waving behind her as she goes and Patton gives Remus and incredulous look. 

“What the hell happened freshman year that convinced her to let you do that?” 

“That,” Remus says, “Is something I bet Silv would love to tell you sometime, but for now we’re gonna keep it classified,” 

“Fair enough,”    
  
The neves of this idea hit Remus minutes before she goes through with it before she can stop herself. Gods, she hopes this will work out. 

Exactly on the dot, Silver calls them up, and Patton followers he with a blind type of trust that scares Remus. 

“That’s you’re cue,” she says she brushes back the curtain and within seconds light floods their eyes. 

The drag queens give her approving looks as she pulls Patton out on to the stage. Remus thinks she might pass out then and there until she sees the crowd. 

It’s full of people just like her. Broken, bruised people who thought they would be dead at 13. Brave people who blew out the candles on their 14th birthday and every year after that. People who are so different wrong each other yet are all hear to protest in one of the best ways, showing the world how happy they are being proud. People who found family blood could never bring them. They’re all here. This is Remus’ home and it’s not a place, it’s a coalition of cockroaches that refuse to stay down.

Remus taps the mic nervously, “Testing testing two three,” 

“Testing testing suck my D!” Someone shouts out and Remus laughs, nerves completely melting away. 

“Hey everyone!” Remus says, “Thank you to the queens on stage for letting me steal their spotlight.” The crowds lets out a small cheer, “I’ve been crushing on her for years but this is Patton’s first time here,” 

Remus squeezes Patton’s hand as the crowd cheers, and the love in Patton’s eyes is stunning. 

“She’s incredible isn’t she?” Remus turns away from the audience and turns to Patton, “I’ve been waiting months for this, to get her to realize I like her. She’s incredible, She's kind and funny and a badass. I’ve been trying to kiss her all day, but we keep getting interrupted. And I let it slide so many times until those assholes with the 1920 signs stopped us. I have never been a patient person,” She whispers and Patton freezes. 

“This one goes out to you Mikey boy,” She shouts into the mic, puts it back int place, and then does what she’s been waiting to do all day. 

Kissing Patton is amazing. She tastes like honey and coffee and when Remus kisses her everything stops. Patton’s hands lock around Remus’ neck and she pulls her town for a kiss, Remus can hear the crowd cheer louder. Remus sticks out her middle finger towards the homophobes and cups her hand around Patton’s chin. 

Remus kisses Patton and thinks about all the girls before her, the girls who told the bigots of the world to die angry. The girls who were “just friends,”. The girls didn’t let the world control them. The girls who dared to love each other when they could be burned for daring. The girls who would cheer with her if they were alive to see it. 

Remus thinks about it all, and she kisses Patton like they’re here to see it   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> damn i cried while writing this, I’m so proud of it. It was for lesbian day but it’s a bit late and it’s almost midnight but wow. I’m proud of myself, I never thought I’d be here writing this story. I adore it, and I hope you did too 
> 
> thank you to @me-a-mess-morelikelythanyouthink for screaming about this with me and for letting me give you a cameo, you mean the world to me
> 
> comments are swell


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